Yesterday nite 大姐 came hm ask mi :
Sis: U ytd went out izzit becuz u are mad wif dad ?!?!?!
Me : I say No wif smiling face !
SiS: Den what u wanna do nw ??
Me : I DON’T KNOW !

But actually I was reali reali mad wif dad & why I was laughing is becuz hw cum everyone cn read my mind /action so easily ?!?!?!?!
Should be dad who told sis tat i went out cuz i was mad wif him !! Good tat hw noe tat !! Don’t always think i cn be easy bully n nv do something back 的人 !
Till nw I was still mad . I’m sure dad can feel i dun even wanna look into his eye when i got home !!!
I was reali reali mad about everything he ask/say /do .. sure oso haf something to do wif mum sayin something bad abt mi to dad behind mi !!I know my mum too well !!
All i wan to do nw is LEAVE TIS HOME !! DUN WAN A FAMILY LIKE THIS FOR SURE !!!

Forcing myself to think positivie keep thinking tml gonna mit frenz out do e thing i wan to do .. Juz dun BOTHER abt him !! Maybe treat he like e way i treat tat stupid 二姐 den won’t causes myself so MAD all the times !!!

他们一点都不会感到羞耻! PHEW ..

Went to deposit $ todae when i rch hm dad ask -
Dad: U went downstair for wat ?
Me: Deposit $ lor
Dad: I thought u would withdraw out den deposit.
What’s e meaning of askin mi tis ? 看不起我有$ deposit ma ?? So i totally ignore him cuz I’m veri MAD!

1. 我吃，喝，穿，带的任何东西都用自己的$,你的$我一分都没用到好吗 ??

2. All of u de account $$$$ 没有比我多就不要用狗眼看人低的方式看我和对我说那番话 !!!!
为什么他们不会感到羞耻呢 ??!! …

HELP~我的心已经痛到要死了 !

Bring pipi to vet tis morning doctor confirmed Pipi turn DEAF !!
Why so sudden ???
Before bringing him to vet i always told myself maybe his ear 发炎 eat pill will ok but sudden told mi he’s deaf !!!Nv thought of him will turn deaf one day !!
On e way siting dad van hm i nv tok much cuz my heart reali so pain till i can’t describle & wonder hw he gonna live without hearing anything !!
Back home 我们不死心 try lot of method to test his hearing call him sometime respond & sometime nt ?!?!?!
我知道我们这样是自己欺骗自己 。。 But reali we cannot accept/face e fact each time i see pipi now, my heart hurt a lot 心一直一直在滴血 !!
Infront of him now i still tok like children & joke wif him all e times ……
I told myself muz act happy/strong all e time when i face him cuz i believe he sure can FEEL it even though he can’t hear us anymore !!!
While writing tis post i can’t control my tears it juz keep cumin down non-stop !!!
好痛!! 好痛!!

BoA ft Miura Daichi – Possibility

心情非常不稳定的我 !

活的很烦和累。能不能让我开心的活着呢 ???
难道这要求很过分吗 ?? 想要的幸福真的那麼难吗 ??
好多事要处理/调整?? 不论是心理或是外表 !! 一时间我该如何事好 ?!?!?!?!?!
只能暂时欺骗自己 生活会慢慢变好！
听了这首歌能让我把烦脑忘记/放下 !! Hais …

Haf mani thing to say/share about !! Nw there’s mio TV at hm super super gd beside able to watch hongkong, taiwan channel oso able to watch korean channel~OMG super super HIGH lor ..Can watch those channel for 1 year free oso able to noe e lastel korean song, variety & mv through KBS . Now spend more times on tv den using com ~LOLx .. Even ppl like 大姐 who dun reali like korean stuff oso start to watch e variety wif mi n we laugh out damn loudly she even want all e korean song i dl cuz she wanna burn to CD !!

Tis year 1st time nt celebratin CNY ~ we did plan wat tu do on 初一，初二 ?? watch mio tv, play wii, watch movie, stay at hm slp or go sing KTV ?!?!?! Hahaha I’m sure mostly is play wii n watch mio TV !! So happi lor 1st time new year dun haf tu watch up in e morning YEAH ~ YEAH ! Dun even haf tu think of wat clothes to buy~~ Lols .. So happi can’t wait it .. Wanna start diet nw de le but CNY reachin soon sure eat a lot lor lidat like 白减肥了 !!

Tis year 2010 my life reali feel like change a lot, nt i chnage is e thing/ppl/matter tat made mi veri 烦 since like all change to better & smooth for mi I was reali shock when i realise it on my own but of cuz hope tis will LAST FOREVER !! During tis year i buy lots of thing tat i wanna buy at 2009 nearly buy all le 好开心哦 !!!!! Watch mani 美容 variety show recently learn a lot a lot but my hand so stupid always draw diff from wat e teacher draw !! Hahahaha THAT’S MY HAND!!!

Now the onli 2 thing i still nt veri happi abt :
- 1st is Dad !! I reali felt he veri sad abt him cumin hm all e time always angry. All i hope tis year he stay happi all e time & earn more more $$$$$$$$$$$$ !!

-2nd Pipi ! Recently he veri scare of us we call him he will juz hide under e chair for super long time & e next thing is he always slp .. I reali dunno wat happend to him ?? He still like e past will wan go downstair, able to eat, drink lots of water as he use to be.. he prefectly ok le juz dun understand y he will so scare of us & so sleeply recently ?!?! Morning haf a dream, dream tat I went hm wif family memeber on e way hm knew Pipi will be leavin e hse leavin us !! So e min i get into e hse i shouted pipi name n he came out from room n i cry none stop when i hug him end up I wake up le !!! I Wonder y sudden dream of tis & i reali wonder tis dream ani meaning ma ? I always stop myself from thinkin so much cuz i scare is something bad !! So e min i wake up i quickly look for pipi in e living room seeing him slpin on e sofa i ran toward him n gif him a BIG HUG !!! I reali 被我自己的梦吓到了 I dun think i can live my life without PIPI !!!!

I REALI REALI HATE U ~ MOM !!!!

MOM SUPER SUPER FUCK !!!!

She gif pipi eat ice-cream infront of mi !!! She noe he can’t eat yet gif him & tis time nt tat she forgt or wat juz she wan tu gif him eat !!!
I saw it alreadi all too late… i shouted at mom loudly y u wanna gif him ? y u always wanna do tis type of thing ? She juz keep her mouth shut ? She thought i using com totally nv saw !!! Reali feel veri ANGRY/SAD/SICK/TIRE living wif ppl like tis! WORST OF ALL tat person is ur MOM !!!!!! A person who dun hear what ppl say !!! The more u ask not to do SHE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE will do it n show it to u !!!!!!!!! DAMN DAMN same as my ER XIN de grandma !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what the FUCK is tis whole thing ? I cry as i type tis post cuz i reali wan pipi recover i wan his skin to maintain in gd condition somemore he’s OLD le but … WHY ?? WHY ? !!!
Today cut pipi hair n saw his skin reali turn gd le .. yet she gif pipi eat ice-cream skin ok le oso cannot eat de ma !!!!! I dare to say/admit tat e whole family i e onli one take care of him I nt tryin to show off or let ppl noe hw gd am i all i wan is pipi stay healthy & happy all his entire life .. den now let him eat ice-cream made mi felt tat e past half year all tat i’ve done alreadi NO USE le !!!!!!!

Tue went out wif fangyu !! WOw~ we went to marina, takashimaya & bugis to eat !!!! Marina nth much to shop de lor ~ Suntec so so too & we decided to go taka due to her helpin frenz buy COACH bag ! 2nd time enter branded shop after LV~ tis time a bit different cuz still haf tu queue outside e shop~Lol.. It a new experience for mi ~ walk around e shop wif her disscusing abt e bag design made mi wanna earn $$$$$$ n buy such a handbag for my mum even thought i dislike her so much !! Always went out wif fangyu her action/behavior will always made mi veri quilty cuz i nv buy any stuff for my parent & I will haf e 从动 wanna buy stuff lidat to dad/mum juz dunno y !!!

We actually suppose to eat steamboat de while waitin for bus she sudden ask mi
FANGYU : Can U eat a lot ma ? I say i can’t eat a lot n she suggest wanna go bugis resturant to eat ma ??
FANGYU : You can’t ate a lot den dun eat lor cuz nt worth it for mi so we end up ate at e resturant !! at e same time we oso chat abt our frenz WEEJEAN !?!?!?! After hearin from wat she say to mi abt him made mi feel he veri 不会不好意思的 lor !!!! Haiz.. durin ite time we should alreadi noe wat type of ppl he was le !!

Went into a hongKong cafe/resturant !! Lots of ppl in e shop food taste nice mani mani choice in e menu !!! Alway walk past tis shop always thought is sold western delight de !! Hahahaha .. I order Fish in pineapple sauce wif rice @$7.30 & oso Hawaii Fruit Drink@ $3.50 !!

The vegetable taste salting, a bit hard & a bit like fried 过的海带`but I like it !


Picture of mi waitin ~~~~~~

Tis is wat she ate Black pepper chicken ! When e waitress serve to her she was like lidat onli ar ??LOLx .. somemore she told mi e vegetable y is tis wan lor ?!?!?! She thought is another type de vegeatble seein from e menu !! Hahahahaha end up i ate hers e vegetable taste veri veri 香 e min i eat it juz like eatin perfume !!! Total up e cost is $22++ for 2 ~ Both of us pretty shock abt it we thought it will be each person $22 +++ lor !!! I will wanna cum back again n try other stuff lor Nice ~ Nice !!

Yesterday dad cum hm wif a bad mood nt angry but cn see is sad & dissapointed !!! Because of 二叔/五叔 .. See bahx I say before le if u will to forgif 五叔 n wanna help him in working again u will sure regret de now onli cn ownself angry, 生闷气, 黑脸 face us n cum hm n always nag to mum abt all tis den alwaya say when big sis 毕业了 you dun wan work !!??! Wow ~ Daddy all tis is u ownself find thing to do de lor !! Why forif at e 1st place rite ????? Last time u workin juz haf tu 生气wif二叔一个人 nw since u ownself wanna forgif 五叔 den u becum haf to 生两个人的气 who can u blame ? Every decison is u made de y wanna cum hm n nag to us n show black face ??? I say before le never ever 同情人 NO MATTER WHO TAT PERSON IS RELATED TO U LOR !!! Haiz !!!! Come on la dad still haven learn ur lesson well ma nid second lesson ma !!! Is my mind simple, childish mindset or wat ?!?!! I juz dunno wat adult & dad mind/brain will thinking abt all the time ?!?!?! Till nw haven learn to be clever !!!!!!

My Happiest Day so Far !

Went to bugis bought lots of shirt ~來來回回 bugis street lots of time becuz of sihui ~ I Wanna buy 1 long jacket e cap veri cute de gt bear bear head de but i wear le cannot zip~ SIAN DE LOR~~
saw ellice at e same time at bugis street long no see her le~ nt much change in her !! Having dinner at MAC i dunno at bugis street area gt MAC de sia~ (I super 山龜- Hokkien) lor.. !!
Chat a lot at mac n oso outside e mall .. We chat till no train take cab rch hm alreadi 1a.m le ! Taxi fare $15 plus e night fare $7.50 total $22+ expensive lor but still think worth it cn spend more time wif her ! But in another side will to think $22 cn buy another 2 clothes sia ~ HAHAHx ..
Super tire but reali veri happi so long nv so happi le ~

I REALLY HATE YOU !!!!!!!!!!!

Mit serene yesterday !! She told mi tat my mum mit her mum at market tis morning, and my mum ask her mum for her number ?? Serene mum end up nv gif .. Serene mum told mum go get serene number from me !!! End up mum came hm tis morning totally nv mention anything !!! FUCK lor ~
What e FUCK mum wanna do gettin serene nummber ? Heard from serene tat few mth ago mum oso accidently mit her mum & mum say something bad abt mi to her mum .. What hurt mi the most is serene mum since to believe what my mum said ! 我很在意别人对我的看法甚至我认为很不接近的人 ..
I REALI HATE HER !!!!!! When serene told mi tis i veri veri nagry wif what mum done ????????? 1. 丢脸 2. why act nth had happend still cn joke wif mi at hm ??? 3. Why serene till nw den told mi ?????????????

WOW! I reali DUNNO WHAT TO SAY !!!

I totally dun wanna tok to her & i reach hm oso nv ask her y she ask/say all tis to serene mum !!! I REALI CANNOT BELIEVE TAT MY MUM DID THAT BEHIND MI !!!!